Reason why I'm Single #2

I was looking for new, cool patterns to knit online (which, that in itself should be reason #2) when I came across a website that got me so excited! It is called Ravelry and is a community of knitters and crocheters and allows you to organize your projects, needles/hooks, your stash and has a gazillion patterns for free.

My friend called me when I was still on the site so I gushed to her about it though she was not at all interested and thought it was "cute" that I was so excited. Did you know that sometimes "cute" = "nerd"? That seems to be the case with my friends.

Check out the site, let me know what you think. http://www.ravelry.com/

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

What are You Listening To?

At work I've been using the site JANGO which is a "create your own radio station" site and love that it suggests songs/ artists you may like...(it's not to nice, but I also like that you can press the :( face and the song will never be played on the station again).

From this station I've realized I love Adele, Ingrid Michaelson, Keane, James Morrison, Lenka and A Fine Frenzy. Who knew?

I'd love to get other suggestions, have any?

3 Strikes

I had a first date last week (different guy) and three things stuck out. I discussed it with numerous friends as I wanted feedback regarding my response to these things... which was "You're Out!"

1. We agreed to meet at the front of the restaurant, but as it was busy and I arrived first the hostess asked if she could seat me. He arrived a few minutes later, waited at the front a couple of minutes until the hostess noticed him and brought him to our table. I apologized and explained but.... he still was a bit mad. Really, something as miniscule as "this" makes you mad?

2. Waitess asked us "so how would you like the bill, together or seperate?". The guy turned to me with a look on his face as though he was asking me "sooo what should we do?". What?!? You're not being a gentleman and just picking up the bill? We had coffee and an appetizer. I paid as how do you split a $13.00 bill in your 30's.

2.5 I wasn't going to use this as my "3" but I thought it was part of his downfall. I have dated many men, in fact many men who are younger than me. They all have walked me to my car. Romeo was proud of his rock star park job and left me to walk the few blocks to my car alone... at night.

3. I mentioned that I don't like to text and prefer phone calls as they are more personal. He texts me the next day to ask me out again. If you don't have time to call, I have no time for you.

Was he rude, was he lying or am I just stupid?

Truth or Lie?

   Boy ask girl out, girl accepts.



   Boy gives girl day of date NO notice and requests they meet for an hour as he has plans at 10:00

   Girl questions this (why ask me out if you have plans?), boy apologizes ++ and notes he just has to work later.

   Girl goes for an hour but her Saturday night is otherwise lame as she was expecting "a date".

   Girl's friend a few days later sees pictures of the party they were invited to on above noted Saturday night on a social networking site. Girl informed boy at same.

   Girl talks to boy saying that she should have just gone to the party as she could have seen him there (as girl at that time still believes he worked first).



   Boy laughs and says that is what indeed happened.

   Girl's friends call her dumb.

What do you think?

  

Girl Naked and Guilty

There is not a time in my life that I haven't been at least somewhat concerned about my body. Who's with me! From stats I've seen, I have at least three quarters of North American women nodding along. Therefore, I was quite proud of myself for agreeing to pose nude for a breast cancer calendar. Last year.

My mother died of breast cancer 11 years ago and therefore it is a cause near and dear to my heart. I have volunteered for programs that help kids deal with the fact that their parent has cancer, I do the charity runs and have a lot of "pink" things. When the opportunity arose to be a part of such a beautiful and health promoting (breast cancer awareness and promoting positive self images/self esteem) project I jumped right in and said "YES!". Them I thought "OH NO!"

This is where the guilt comes in and I actually quite dislike myself for it. A lot. I hate my tatas. I always have. They are really small. So much so, that I requested that my picture be one that I am covering them with my arm. I worry about the look of them everyday. I buy padded bras, have the chicken cutlets, have padded bathing suits and am always conscious of camouflaging/ covering/ hiding them in more "shared" times (and therefore not really ever just being "in the moment" because I'm thinking about what I think he might be thinking about them). I would get surgery but am more afraid of scarring that I am of placing potentially lethal chemicals into my body.

I feel so disgusted with myself that I am so vain about something that in reality, I should be thanking God for just being healthy. I saw on a daily basis what my mom went through. She was the bravest woman I have ever known. I miss her EVERYDAY! So many woman are not only scarred from breast cancer but lose their lives, have to leave their families and I am so overwhelmingly consumed with "it sucks they're so small". When really, after thinking about it I should be saying "it sucks that you are such a small person".

They say you can't fix something unless you know it's broken. I am realizing how broken that thought is. I'm trying to fix it.

I was asked to pose again this year. I feel guilty because I'm having a hard time saying yes.

"This" is why I'm single - reason #1

I'm a knitter.

I'm not one of those amazing knitters who create gorgeous works, sweaters, cozy wraps, beautiful soft blankets. No, I make scarves. Plain, boring scarves.

Sadder still, I tend to use huge needles to "speed things along" as I am an impatient knitter. This leaves my scarves, holy, stretchy and to be frank, quite ugly. Why I knit, and even CRAVE knitting when I easily become frustrated, never like or am proud of my projects I have no idea. But I do.

On top of the coolness of what I mentioned above, my friends often just call me grandma. I am not one of those cute, throwback singer types what have a motown pop sound that remind you of the 60's, no... I get "You look like a goob!".

So that's reason #1, I'm leaving it at that. I have a scarf to finish

The Day After an Office Christmas Party

We all know that feeling. The day after. The day after graduation can leave you feeling overwhelmed with new possibilities. The day after the most perfect first date can leave you all gushie with happiness. The day after a breakup can leave you feeling just as beatup and broken as the day before. Ah, but the day after an office Christmas party....what words can describe that?

Sunday morning. Well morning is more a subjective term at this point. Sunday when you finally get up, whatever time that may be (for me, its more noonish) you feel confused. Where am I? What time is it? And then.... OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED! You sit there, in bed, your dogs jumping on you as its noon and they have to pee RACKING your brain. You recall sitting near your boss, daintily drinking a festive martini. You can remember someone trying to get kareoke going (epic fail). You were halarious when retelling the story about the crazy client and how you saved the day. Not soooo bad, maybe it's all good.

Sunday afternoon. Your phone plays that silly little song (mine is The Right Stuff by NKOTB) that plays when you get a text. Meh, it's nothing but of course you race to check it. Maybe its the cute guy who likely really did have to work and didn't blow you off early last Saturday night. But no, its the first clue as to how the night really went down. "ha ha! you were crazy fun, can't wait to see how you handle it on Monday" Oh snap!

After a mid day nap (following a quick glass of water then coffee) it's Sunday evening. You call your best girlfriend who was at the party. She's sweet and tries to sugar coat the reality (damn her for offering to be the DD, not that you even tried to fight her for it, afterall how lame would an office Christmas party be without at least enjoying the "spirit" of the season). There is a lot of "it wasn't soooo bad" and "I bet no one even noticed". The day after an office Christmas party leaves you feeling...